LIFE IS IN THE LIVING (2)

“We can live only in the present. We cannot live in the past,
since the past is always gone. The future has not yet come.
The present alone is given for us on a silver plate,
to act in, and to enjoy. How big is the present?
The present is a thin line where the past meets the future.”

I recently came across the above quotation by the well respected Hindu philosopher, Dr. Krishna Sadananda dealing with his views on living. In my opinion it encapsulates in a few lines, the fundamental meaning of life and of living.

Over the years a great deal of thought has been given, and much has been written about this most important topic and although there is wide variation in the details, there is almost universal agreement on its meaning and expectation. But despite this, people the world over, have continued to search for their individual answers and develop their own, personal solutions. In fact a search of the internet will reveal thousands and thousands of publications and references, each reflecting the personal views of the particular author.

A popular and to my mind, a very commendable practice is the publication of a series of very impressive and equally relevant quotations dealing with various aspects of life and living on an increasing number of internet sites and blogs. These have never failed to attract my attention and have served to encourage me to seek out and understand my own views on this most important subject. As a result of this exercise I have selected a few that have impressed me in one way or another and will offer a comment on each under my own heading.

This is the second in my series of topics under this heading. I hope they will provide you with the necessary interest to encourage you to seek further;

PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE

“Man sacrifices his health in order to make money,
then sacrifices his money in order to recuperate his health.
He is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
The result is that he does not live in the present or the future.
He lives as if he is going to die, and dies having never really lived.”

These words were spoken by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso, in response to a question concerning what had surprised him most in life. In these few words the Dalai Lama was able to crystallize the single most serious shortcoming of our modern society. In the headlong drive to succeed at all cost, we have sacrificed all the inherent beauty and joy of living the “true life” on the altar of personal expediency. We waste our lives worrying about intangibles and as a result lose sight of the greater good awaiting us just over the horizon. We focus on the problems and worries that affect us so intensively, that we lose sight of their actual importance in the overall scheme of our lives.
His words are a powerful reminder that the only way anyone of us can really benefit during our life on this earth and to live to our fullest potential, is to stay focused on the things that truly matters and to place all others in their true perspective. His Holiness described this in the following manner:

"if you focus too closely, too intensely on a problem when it occurs,
it appears uncontrollable.
But if you compare that event with some other greater event,
look at the same problem from a distance,
then it appears smaller and less overwhelming.
if there is a solution to a problem, there is no need to worry.
And if there is no solution, there is no need to worry.
Sometimes things can't be changed, wrongs can't be righted
and circumstances can't be controlled.”

Our lives will be so much more rewarding if only we succeed in heeding this single advice from this great and wise man.


HAPPINESS

“The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;

They just make the most of everything
that comes along their way.Happiness lies for;

Those who cry, Those who hurt,Those who have searched,

And those who have tried,
for only they can appreciate the importance of people
who have touched their lives.”

Written by the American-born poet, Karen Sue Magee, this beautiful quotation touches a very sensitive vein on the true meaning of “happiness”. Too often we tend to measure our happiness on a scale of the benefits we receive or the potential rewards in store, and we forget that true happiness exists only in the eyes and mind and heart of the beholder.
The pursuit of happiness has always been one of the strongest instincts that have occupied the attention of the great majority of people throughout the ages. Aristotle, the great Greek philosopher, stated that ‘happiness is the only thing that humans desire for its own sake,” and there is no doubt it is one of the major driving forces behind the successful outcome of any endeavor or action. The founding fathers of the American Republic thought enough of its importance to include it in the declaration of independance and the ancient Buddhist religion is founded on the principle of Universal Happiness.

But happiness is not necessarily synonymous with success or achievement. Some of the happiest people to inhabit this world are people who spend their lives living and working in conditions of indescribable pain and deprivation caring for the welfare of other, less fortunate members of society. Just ask the likes of Saint Francis of Assisi, Albert Schweitzer or Blessed Teresa of Calcutta who chose to serve the neediest, most downtrodden and rejected members of society. To them and others like them, the service they render is their index of happiness.

To the rest of us, happiness is measured in simple, less complicated terms and is much more related to how we perceive our actions on others, and how others perceive them from us. It most definitely does not have much bearing on the image we project, the glory we achieve or the amount of money in the bank. These are the material things that are sought after by so many people in all walks of life, and flaunted on society as a model of happiness, when in fact they are, by and large, merely a substitute for abysmal sadness.
..........Just ask the late Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna or Bernie Madoff if they really know or appreciate the true meaning of happiness!


FRIENDS

"The best kind of friends,

are the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with,

Never say a word,

And walk away feeling that

it was the best conversation you ever had."

......Author Unknown

One of the sad consequences of life in these days of increasing social accessibility, easy and widespread communication, exploding opportunities, via the Social Media, Alternate Sites, Clubs etc, and our falling standards and mores, is the drastic changes in the way we live and develop friendships.

Friendships today have lost the true status they once held in days gone by, when life was more predictable and commitments more meaningful. Small circles of friends are now being replaced by large numbers of acquaintances and social contacts, with whom we share information but never ourselves. The demands of modern living with its headlong pressures to achieve and to compete, to outperform and to secure, to protect and to insulate have resulted in drastic changes in how we view and maintain friendships.

True friendship like so much of the most important aspects of our lives, is learnt during the most formative period in our lives, childhood. This is time when we learn the importance of communication, the strength of emotions, the joys of expression and the pleasures of knowledge. We also learn the quality of connecting with others, and the true meaning of sharing. This can only occur as a slow nurturing of experience as we find ourselves in the unstructured setting of childhood. We acquire the art of caring and the security of trust in the same way we acquire the ability of speaking and expressing our feelings, by the slow process of trial and error. This cannot be learnt by the wholesale exposure of people and ideas that are cascading upon us by the “advances” of modern society.

The above quotation speaks to this eloquently. True friendship does not need the cacophony of the social media or the reassurance of repetition or the noise of competition to advertise its existence. Rather, it relates to the deep seated attachment and understanding between two kindred spirits that says that we are one, not by what we say or do, but merely by who we are. The simple act of sitting together without exchanging a word is as effective as if we had spent our lifetime in endless conversation. Whenever we arrive at this exalted level, we have indeed moved closer to God.

In this context, I am reminded of the words of my friend Elias Fares, who has frequently repeated an ancient Arabic quotation which translates as follows:

"You can make a thousand enemies a day;
But a true Friend will take you a thousand years to make."