LIFE AT CHRISTMAS

“You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem,
lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid;
Say to the towns of Judah: "Here is your God!”

This statement, taken from Isaiah 40:9, encapsulates the true meaning of the wonderful season of Christmas, one which continues to be buried by an increasing tide of secularism and commercialization.

Christmas has lost whatever religious meaning it ever had, and instead has become just one more excuse for corporations to sell things. Massive traffic jams, packed shopping malls, and lines stretching around the block have become hallmarks of the holiday season. Even uglier, are the “special sales” that regularly lead to pandemonium and which are used to herald the start of season earlier and earlier. All of this deliberately designed by the corporations and credit card companies to convince us to spend more and more and owe more and more.

For me however, as I grow older, Christmas is the time for my family and me. The powerful feeling of family is never any stronger than at midnight of Christmas eve when, gathered with all my family, we welcome, together with all the faithful of the Christian world, the glad and glorious tidings of the birth of our Lord.

But Christmas is more than just an opportunity for family to gather together and share the joy and love of one another. It is an opportunity for us all to take the time and reflect upon the message of the season, as announced by the angels to the shepherds on that faithful night in Luke 2:14:

“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth, peace and good will toward men"

Unfortunately, like our tendency to distort and commercialize Christmas, we have also successfully buried this beautiful command from God of “Peace on earth and Goodwill to all men”.

As we enter this season, instead of peace on earth, we have wars raging in every corner of the world and among every nation and even within nations. In fact peace appears to be the most elusive commodity in the whole world. So too are our leaders, irrespective of whether we elect them or otherwise. We grant the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize upon one of our Presidents and he promptly increases the size and extent of the war in Afghanistan. We are spending more money on building greater and greater weapons than we are feeding and housing our neighbors. We have clearly not learnt any lessons from the past wars and conflicts, nor do we seem to give more than lip service to the mounting death toll and worse still, the mounting numbers of young men and women whose horrendous injuries are an abomination to humanity. And we do this all, in the name of freedom and democracy!

And as to goodwill to all men; few of us have taken the time to understand its true meaning. We appear to prefer the most successful, the most notorious and the most aggressive people as the ones deserving the recognition. We happily appoint a man of very questionable morals as the world’s greatest sportsman, a woman of equally questionable character as the greatest entertainer, showering them with our money and adoration. Yet we ignore the millions of people who go from one day to another not knowing if food is available to feed their children.

Even worse than this, is the lopsided attitude of our governments towards the care and support of society. We unhesitatingly spend billions of dollars to support the greedy, selfish incompetence of our financial leaders, including handsomely rewarding them with large bonuses for destroying the world’s economies. Yet we do not raise a finger to help the millions of unfortunate investors and homeowners, leaving them to wallow helplessly in the mud of
failure and bankruptcy. Where in God’s name is the goodwill toward men?

So as we enter this season of Christmas, a season chosen by God to remind us of our own responsibility towards our brothers and our neighbors let us all commit to live by his words.
That we will all strive, by word and by deed, to ensure peace on earth, and do whatever and whenever we can, all that we are capable of doing to restoring good will toward men.

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God walked down the stairs of heaven with a Baby in His arms.

……Paul Scherer

There has been only one Christmas;
The rest are anniversaries.

…….W.J. Cameron

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.

….W. T. Ellis

May your Christmas be as peaceful and as bright as new fallen snow.

…..Author Unknown

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and keep it all year.

……Charles Dickens

For the spirit of Christmas fulfils the greatest hunger of mankind.

…….Loring A. Schuler

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.

……. Roy L. Smith

The message of Christmas is that the visible material world
is bound to the invisible spiritual world.

……Author Unknown

What is Christmas?
It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.
It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal,
and that every path may lead to peace.

…….Agnes M. Pharo

The only blind person at Christmastime is;
he who has not Christmas in his heart.

……Helen Keller

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world,
in a conspiracy of love.

…… Hamilton Wright Mabie

Christmas ... is not an eternal event at all,
but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart.

…….. Freya Stark

Christ was born in the first century, yet he belongs to all centuries.
He was born a Jew, yet He belongs to all races.
He was born in Bethlehem, yet He belongs to all countries.

……..George W. Truett

LIFE AND THE OLD MAN

The following was sent to me by a good friend. Its impact upon me was so strong that I felt the need to pass it on to as many people as I can, especially at a time like this when goodwill to men reigns.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte, Nebraska ,
it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health.
A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

The Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . . What do you see?

What are you thinking . . …. when you're looking at me?

A crabby old man . .. . . … not very wise,

Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice . .. . . . the things that you do.

And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of Ten,.. .. . . with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.

Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . .. . . . I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone,

But my woman's beside me . . . .. . to see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,

Again, we know children .. . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.

I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.

And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known

I'm now an old man . . . . . and nature is cruel.

Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.

There is now a stone . . .. . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . .. a young guy still dwells,

And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.

And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.

And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people . . . . . open and see.

Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer .. . . see ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside
without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched, they must be felt by the heart.

LIFE WITH KHALIL GIBRAN-A View of Pain

Foreword
In 1954 I visited Lebanon and Syria while I was attending medical school in England. Part of my itinerary included visiting the home/museum of Khalil Gibran in the beautiful village of Besharri situated just north of Tripoli at the foothills of the famous Cedars of Lebanon. I was overwhelmed by the sensitivity and depth of his work both written and artistic, and continue to be up to the present. Like many millions of people, I am particularly impressed with his publication, “The Prophet”, and have spent many happy hours reflecting on the topics of his essays.
In this and in subsequent essays, I will be selecting some of the topics, reproducing his quotation and then recording my thoughts as I see and feel them. This effort is not meant to be a scholarly interpretation of his work, but merely my own views based on my own experiences and understanding.

……And a woman spoke, saying; Tell us of Pain.

And he said:

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life,
your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief."
Much of your pain is self-chosen.It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips,
has been fashioned of the claywhich the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.”

To the prophet, pain is an important and fundamental factor in the awakening and understanding of oneself. To experience pain, like the breaking of the stone of the fruit, brings an opportunity to truly know yourself and be yourself. It affords you the chance to gain insight as you emerge from “winters” of uncertainty into the light of enlightenment.
He reassures us that we are not alone, that even as the pain appears to be unbearable, a “bitter potion” from the physician’s “heavy and hard hands", it is guided by the “tender hand of the unseen”. And the cup, “though it burns the lips” is moistened by “sacred tears” of the potter.
Therefore he advises, pain must be chosen and accepted as an inevitable passage to growth and understanding, a force for goodness and a road that leads to expansion of consciousness.

As I see it, pain has been generally described as an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage. It alerts us to danger and tells us when something is wrong within our bodies. If the danger is acute, then the body will react spontaneously by reflex action, even before the brain is aware of the danger.
The mechanisms by which pain is experienced have been extensively studied and demonstrated. They involve the entire peripheral and central nervous systems and specific centers in the brain and are present Throughout the entire animal kingdom. They are essentially self-protective in nature.
But we all know that pain is not only physical and from our own experiences it should be clear that such a definition is grossly incomplete. There is indeed, a category of pain, equally or more debilitating, which does not involve the nervous pathways or tissue damage. The great ancient philosophers wrote extensively on the impact of this type of pain on the human psyche, and throughout the centuries literature is overflowing with stories of emotional suffering. In some ways this emotional pain can be more intense and last longer than physical pain.

Anyone who has experienced the pain of loss, or of shame, or of disappointment will attest to the depth and length of suffering. This is the pain that is often described as “coming from the soul”, and can lead to severe changes in outlook and behavior.
Interestingly, recent MRI/Scan studies have shown that the changes in the brains of people with physical and emotional pain, including imaginary pain, are essentially similar irrespective of the causative agents. This has given rise to proposals that there are common underlying biochemical etiologies.

To my mind this should not really be surprising. Any practicing professional with experience, will attest to the commonality of symptoms, presentation, management and outcome of the many varieties of pain perception in the human psyche. Suggesting that the successful outcome of a pain episode, whatever the cause, is less dependent on the specific treatment modality, as it is on the attitude and understanding you bring to bear on the situation.

This is perhaps what Gibran meant when he wrote these lines:

"Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self."

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There are no gains without Pain.
……Benjamin Franklin

Pain is no evil, unless it conquers us.
……..George Eliot

Pain is life; the sharper, the more evidence of life.
……Charles Lamb

Without Pain, there is no coming to consciousness.
…….Carl Jung

The greatest evil is physical pain.
..…Saint Augustine

There is no Pain so great,
as the memory of joy in present grief.
……Aeschylus

Pain nourishes courage.
…..Mary Tyler Moore

Pain is short-lived, but Pride lasts a lifetime.
……. Elvis Stojko

Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you.
…..Your own reality.
If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're lettingsociety destroy your reality.
You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
……Jim Morrison

LIFE'S OUTLOOK

"Two men look out the same prison bars;
one sees mud and the other stars."

This famous quotation by Rev. Frederick Langbridge, the Irish author and novelist, precisely encapsulates the true mean of Outlook and its subsequent effect on behavior.

The Thesaurus defines Outlook as a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations. It is a fundamental and simply uncontroversial truth that a positive outlook in life makes a world of difference on the outcome of any encounter, and equally, the wrong outlook dooms even the simplest task. Being positive and optimistic about a situation, irregardless of it’s complexity and difficulty, will go a long way to helping achieve success. And by contrast, even the simplest task could have a disastrous outcome in the hands of someone who is primed to fail.

In this context I am reminded of a song made popular by Frank Sinatra in 1959 entitled, “High Hopes”, which was adopted and modified by John F. Kennedy in 1960 at the start of his successful presidential campaign. The song deals with a few bizarre scenarios where animals challenge and overcome impossible situations because of their positive outlook, such as, an ant moving a tree, and a ram bringing down a dam. It created a sensation when it was published and not only won the Academy Award for Best Song of that year, but became a standard, used to encourage people to try harder. It certainly was very effectively used to reinforce the image of JFK as the right candidate to be president.

Acquiring the right outlook is not always easy to do. Like any other personality trait its acquisition is dependent on multiple factors including heredity, familial, environmental, educational and social exposure. The more positive environment a child is exposed to, the more encouragement he is given, and the more opportunity he has to achieve success, will all play major roles in reinforcing a positive outlook. By contrast, being exposed in an environment of fear and pessimism and extreme caution and timidity, will only serve to doom the child to a life committed to avoiding failure rather than achieving success.

That is a real pity, for the truth is that we can all do more, and achieve more, by trying to cultivate and apply a positive outlook to any situation. We cannot allow a bad experience or outcome to affect our outlook and compromise our chance of success. In fact, staying positive is not difficult to achieve, nor is it limited to a special group of people. We should all recognize that we do have the power to choose how we deal with a situation and that maintaining a positive outlook is much easier than it appears. In the end, life is what you make of it and it is up to you to decide how you deal with your problems.

Richard M. DeVos, the founder of the highly successful consumer products company, AMWAY INTERNATIONAL, described this quite effectively, and in a way that strongly deserves your sincere consideration:

Life; It tends to respond to our Outlook,

to shape itself to meet our expectation.

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To curb this sense of envy and jealousy.
We must develop a broader Outlook.
……Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Your Outlook upon life are largely colored by your environment.
Your whole career will be modified, shaped, molded by your surroundings;
By the character of the people with whom you come in contact every day.
……..Orison Swett Marden

The rapprochement of peoples is only possible
when differences of Outlook are respected and appreciated,
rather than feared and condemned.
……H. William Fullbright

Tough times never last, but tough people do.
……. Dr. Robert Schuller

I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life - that is to say, over 35,
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.

…….Carl Jung

LIFE WITH PHOBIAS

“My mind is on a constant roller coaster ride. I can never quiet my thoughts.
These thoughts are so repulsive to me that I go through intense feelings of
anxiety and panic. When these thoughts begin, I feel like the world is closing
in around me. My body begins to shake and my nerves become raw.
I get instantly dizzy and feel like I could faint at any moment”

These words expressed by a patient at 4.00am shortly after awaking from a deep sleep, underlies the intense urgency and fear experienced at the time. The patient was describing an Acute Phobic Reaction, often called a Panic Attack, one of the most common forms of anxiety disorders.

The word “Phobia” is a term used to describe a persistent, irrational fear that causes a person to feel intense anxieties. It affects people of all ages and all intellectual, income and social levels. It has no respect of geographic or racial differences. They are the most common psychiatric illness among women of all ages and the second commonest among adult men.

Although they may be associated with global triggers, they are most often identified with a single one or common group, which appear to be consistently present. Sometimes the trigger may be easily identified such as heights, enclosed spaces, darkness or specific insects or animals, but most of the time it is not easily identified because of the intense emotional involvement associated. These triggers may arise from any aspect of human thought, behavior or relationship and more than 100 have been identified and named.

The response may vary widely from a mild symptom, easily managed and not causing significant inconvenience, to a full blown panic attack with severe manifestations such as restlessness, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeats, profuse sweating and uncontrollable shaking. In extreme cases these symptoms can immobilize the patient to such an extent that they become prisoners in their homes.

A variety of theories have been offered by Psychologists to explain the causes of phobias, but it is generally accepted that they result from a complex mixture of internal predispositions, external experiences, psychological and biological factors. In any single case a diagnosis is made after a review of the patient’s social, environmental, family and life history, as well as the heredity, genetic and biochemical consideration. All of these may have significant roles in the development and continuation the disorder and must be considered when formulating a treatment plan.

Because of the patient’s underlying fears and anxieties, the management of these disorders is often more difficult than they ought to be. Since the symptoms are invariably precipitated by triggers which may be real, anticipated or imagined. Clearly treatment to be successful, must be directed at their identification and neutralization. To this end, a large variety of techniques and programs have been developed, including desensitization and/or exposure therapy, behavior modification, psychotherapy, hypnosis and relaxation therapy. They have all had fairly good results and are often used in combination.

In addition, a large variety of drugs are available including both psychotropic drugs such as tranquilizers and antidepressants, and drugs designed to correct the brain chemistry such
As beta-blockers.

In the end however, real success can only be achieved by the patient only if he is able to develop good insight and understanding of the mechanisms that gave rise to the symptoms. For it is only by identifying the causative factors can you hope to neutralize and replace them. This requires patience, understanding and a willingness to learn, coupled with the support of a competent therapist with whom a good rapport is essential.

Also because of the nature of the condition and the ease of developing dependency, medications should be used with caution and for short periods, and under no circumstances should they be used on an "as needed" basis.

LIFE'S TRUTH

This above all, to thine own self be true;
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

This quotation by William Shakespeare has become one of my favorite quotations and one which I refer to quite often, because it accurately reflects the fundamental definition of Truth as I see it.

Contrary to the general impression, truth is not a simple straight forward act of honesty and correctness. This is not surprising since the term has no single definition about which a majority of philosophers and scholars agree. Truth is not synonymous with “fact”, but is an interpretation of fact by the individual, based on his subjective perception of the actual or imagined circumstances and his ability to define and identify it as the truth. When we report truthfully, we are not just reporting a fact or a situation, but we are doing so with what we consider to be our sense of honesty and with an absence of deception. And vice versa, by contradicting truth, we contradict ourselves. In short, it is how we interpret truth that determines how we actually define truth.

It is no surprise therefore that, throughout the ages, so many differing theories have been put forward, and that uniform consensus is still non-existent. Over the years a variety of proposals have been offered to explain the meaning of truth without really fully succeeding. In the end however, it is left to each individual to recognize and express his own version of the truth, and to have it accepted or rejected by others.
Maya Angelou, the Miami based African-American author and poet, describes this in these terms:

There’s a world of difference between Truth and Facts;
Facts can obscure Truth.

To me, truth is a subjective interpretation of the existing facts presented as honestly and as accurately as we are capable of doing, without trying to objectively modify or alter its presentation or its outcome. It implies, as Shakespeare suggested, that truth, like love and honesty, must first begin with oneself, and one’s life. Unless we unconditionally live a life of fundamental truth and love for ourselves, we cannot hope to be truthful to others. And by extension, if we find it difficult to love ourselves, with all our imperfections, we cannot hope to walk in truth about ourselves and others. In this context I am reminded of a comment made by someone, whose name I do not recall, who stated;

“when in doubt as to our motives of not being truthful with someone;
….look inside, are we being less than truthful to ourselves?”

Unfortunately, contrary to what occurred in past times when truth telling was held in highest esteem, often involving life and death consequences, in today’s society it seems to have lost most of its luster. It would appear that, in these days, people regard truth telling as somewhat overrated and it is generally acceptable to lie and deceive and distort without due regard or concern. I have no doubt that we can all identify with this and will have little difficulty to think of examples in our own lives. Sometimes this may result in catastrophic consequences to the entire world. Like many of you, I can think of a recent blatant example when a sitting President leads a nation into a long and costly war by using information that was far from the truth, with no apparent consequence to the perpetrators. What a crying shame to humanity this has caused!

I sincerely hope that this will be a reminder that it is high time that we all return truth to its once rightful and exalted place. But as of now, there is no sign of this!

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In this time of universal deceit,
telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
…..George Orwell

A Truth spoken before its time is dangerous.

…….Author Unknown.

Truth is generally the best vindication against slander.
…….Abraham Lincoln

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
……..Mark Twain

Truth comes as conqueror only to those
who have lost the art of receiving it as friend.
……. Rabindranath Tagore

The search for truth implies a duty;
One must not conceal any part of what one has recognized to be
……Albert Einstien

People say they There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.

……Buddha

Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life,
and share with the people the same happines

……Khalil Gibran