“Old age isn’t so bad, when you consider the alternatives.”
He continued to lead a full and active life until he retired in 1968 at age 80 years, 4 years before he died. His statement however has continued on, taking a life of its own and has been used globally as an excellent comment on getting old.For most people, particularly those who have led a full and active life, the thought of growing old with all its perceived handicaps and inadequacies, can be daunting and humbling. Very few people ever admit to looking forward to old age, and when they do, there is always a slight hint of nostalgia and disappointment in their voices. But the reality is that irrespective of what we do, or try to do, or hope for, the nature of events are such that life leads relentlessly and inexorably to an end and the best we can do under the circumstances, is to try to do what we can to “enjoy the ride.” The fact is, despite all the claims made and all the hopes we harbor, there is only one alternative to getting old and irrespective who you are or what you do, it is only a matter of time before each one of us arrive at that final point.
During the early phases of our lives few of us ever give any thought to the aspect of growing old. We become so deeply involved in building relationships, establishing careers and finding out more about ourselves that we make no plans beyond the present. As we spend every minute of each day in dealing with the needs and the demands of that day, we are not inclined, nor do we have the time or the inclination to be concerned with planning for the future. It does not take much to persuade ourselves that there will be time to think about getting old later, but for now this is not relevant in today’s needs. And even as we encounter and deal with older people along the way, we seldom pause enough to think about ourselves eventually joining their ranks. Instead we use these encounters to improve ourselves by learning from them, or competing with them or even replacing them. This after all is the way of life.
Someone once described life as being a journey climbing up a mountain. You start at the bottom slowly and deliberately as you learn the art of climbing. As you progress upwards, you gain assurance and travel further and plan more confidently. You are satisfied as you survey what you have achieved, and you are encouraged to make plans for your continued progress. Your journey is exciting and rewarding and you cannot wait to reach the top. However, as you get to the top, you soon find that this euphoria does not last and the journey gets more difficult, there are more obstacles and you realize that the road was getting tougher and that you are not coping as well, as you begin to descend downhill. The journey going down seems to be much faster and you begin to get the feeling that it takes a lot more effort to achieve than you previously needed. You realize, ready or not, old age is catching up and sooner or later the road will reach an end. You do what you can to slow the decline, you might even succeed temporarily but in the end you cannot hold back the inevitable.
But old age does not have to be the frightening monster that it is portrayed to be. You do not have to feel like an old garment to be tossed aside as the impetuous youth take over. Nor should it be the opposite where we feel committed, at all cost and with increasing effort, to hold on to the present, completely oblivious of the problems you cause or damage you do. These actions are both inappropriate and worse, can and do result in unnecessary pain, frustration and unhappy experiences.
In fact, old age, properly managed, can be the best and most satisfying phase of living. Older people, having lived through and coped with a bewildering series of experiences, are better able to solve problems, to control their emotions, to accept misfortune and admit responsibility. The advancing years have generally made them more tolerant, less prone to anger or to pass judgment, and more willing to understand and to forgive. And even as their health becomes increasingly compromised, they become much more accepting and therefore more cheerful. This, to my mind, is the single most gratifying finding in individuals who have successfully adapted to the demands of getting old and indeed in the words of an author, whose name I do not recall, “is one of life’s greatest empowerments.”
Every person is endowed with their own peculiar personality, attitude, ambition, image and expectation which impact upon their individual lives in their own unique way. It is not surprising therefore that they each approach old age in their own special way. While a small percentage will inevitably reject the obvious and continue on as if there is no end, the great majority will, at some point along the way, take time to look back and review their lives and their work. If you live long enough and live right enough, your joy and satisfaction will more than compensate your own fading star. This indeed is the true reality of life!
As I look back upon my own journey along life’s road and recall my experiences as I crossed over from one stage to another and remember the many mistakes I made and equally, the many correct decisions I took, I am left with a sense of contentment. In a paradoxical way, getting old does have its advantages for it implies that you have lived long enough to have done things worth doing, to have influenced people who appreciate your efforts, to have memories worth treasuring, and in a small way, to have made your world a little better than you found it.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, the great American author, poet and educator spoke on behalf all those older people when he wrote:
“For age is opportunity no lessThan youth itself,
though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away,
The sky is filled with stars invisible by day.”
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