LIVING WITH RIGIDITY

“For as long as I can remember, I have taken great pride in being

a man of principle, whose word is his bond. Whatever I did was always

measured by the principle of doing the “right thing”, irrespective of my own

personal feelings or the resulting consequences. It did not matter that

my action sometimes caused negative results, sometimes with

undesirable consequences, often affecting me as much as it affected others.

What mattered was that “I did it the right way”.

These words were spoken by a very good friend and colleague, now deceased, who lived all his life guided by this principle and to quote his own words, “damn proud of it”. He was one of the most genuine, loyal and trustworthy persons I have ever had the good fortune to meet, and one whose face and words I recall on a daily basis. I have learnt a great deal from him and much of what I do and say is related to no small extent, to my relationship with him.
Yet, having said that, I unhesitatingly reject a great deal of what he did, how he did it and particularly, what he stood for. During all the years I have known him, there was an on-going debate between us and despite my every attempt to correct him, I never succeeded to persuade him of the folly of his logic. To the very end, we always agreed to disagree. You see, my friend was a man of such rigid ideation to almost qualify for a title of Pathological Rigidity.

Rigid personalities are recognized by a series of easily identified characteristics;
-They view opinions and values other than theirs as wrong, not different.
-They appear as arrogant, uncompromising, egotistic, righteous, unyielding and authoritarian people. They are often called bigoted, prejudiced or zealots by others.
-They often view others who disagree with them with varying degrees of suspicion, fear, avoidance or rejection, often making every effort to avoid them as much as they can.
-They have great difficulty in hearing or listening to other opinions, often blocking them out.
-They tend to adopt an attitude of stating "the absolute truth”, rather than discuss options or possibilities.
-When forced by circumstances, they only pretend to agree or to tolerate, but will not be willing to accommodate.
-Above all they will deny, reject or minimize these traits, or try to justify their actions when challenged, or absolutely refuse to discuss them entirely.

I have no doubt that any one of us will have no difficulty to identify one or more people within our circle having some or all of these traits, since they invariably stand out above the rest. They are visible in all areas of life and are easily recognized by their insistence, by word and by deed, that they are always right and equally, by their resistance to consider alternatives.

That not withstanding, these people are in fact surprisingly quite successful in that they are able to expend more effort and energy directed to completing the task at hand, without being concerned about what others think. Many of society’s political and business leaders owe their success to their ability to draw upon this aspect of their personality. They are often described by such terms as single minded, all consuming and head strong, and in fact, it is precisely this characteristic that makes them so successful. They are able to relentlessly and compulsively attend to the minute details that are necessary to maintain efficiency and as such, are the backbone of any operation. No large or complex institution can survive and prosper without a fair share of these people in the workforce. They are to a large extent, the engine of productivity, without whom no institution, government or organization can survive.

However, a smaller percentage of these people exhibit a degree of rigidity that can be quite intense and sometimes extreme. These are the candidates who find great difficulty to cope with the more flexible, less organised and less demanding social establishment, and as a result they encounter great resistance and rejection and find difficulty in acceptance or assimilation.

They include the Ultra-religious type, whose whole life is consumed by the strict codes of his religion. Consider the ultra-orthodox Rabbi who will not touch the hand of a woman, because she might be “unclean”, or the ultra-conservative Christian who views everyone else as suspect of being “the Anti-Christ”, or the Conservative Muslim who insists that women be covered fully by a “Burkha”. They and their groups inevitably end up being labeled as bigots or zealots, viewed with suspicion, and ostracized to the periphery.

There are also a large number of people whose ideas are at variance from the generally accepted standards. Because of their rigidity and their unwillingness to accommodate or to compromise, they have difficulty in gaining acceptance. These are society’s Loners, Oddballs, and Anti-socials, who drift to and inhabit the periphery. They tend to get into trouble and often find themselves singled out by law enforcement. These people are often quite talented and have a great deal to contribute but are prevented from doing so by their innate rigidity.

And there is the very large block of people with lesser degrees of rigidity, who are able to remain in society’s mainstream by learning to mask or suppress their tendencies in order to achieve acceptance. They survive by avoiding confrontation or with-holding comment. Because of their natural tendencies of loyalty, perseverance and commitment, they are often the most popular and sought after members of the group and gain respect and recognition for their services. Despite their innate tendencies, they become the backbone of their society as my collegue achieved at the time of his untimely demise.