LIFE'S DISAPPOINTMENTS

Disappointment is one of our more powerful emotions and one of the most difficult to deal with. It is a feeling we experience when something or someone fails to live up to our expectation. It has nothing to do with whether you are in a good or bad situation, but rather with how we respond to them.

Most people have expectations of how things should turn out and when this does not occur the feeling of disappointment takes over. They are not necessarily related to fact or reality but much more to your inner assessment and expectation. Even though you may believe otherwise, your expectation or hopes may not be so realistic, leading you to becoming disappointed without actual justification.

Whatever the reason, disappointment unless managed appropriately, will give rise to multiple, complex feelings which could lead to profound physical or emotional difficulties, or both. At the minimum, it could affect your attitude, and hence your subsequent approach to the situation or the people involved. At the worst, recurrent feelings of disappointment could lead to chronic stress situations, depression and profound personality changes.

Disappointment can be embarrassing or humiliating. Because we tend to think of it as a “bad” emotion, we avoid expressing our feeling, for fear of embarrassment in front of others. Sometimes we avoid speaking of our hopes or expectations, because of we are afraid of admitting failure.

Unless we actively try to correct or neutralize these feelings most of us will end up feeling cheated with life. Very rarely does a feeling of disappointment lead to a satisfactory outcome unless we take the time to learn lessons and avoid repetition. So much of our reaction is related more to our underlying personality than the prevailing circumstances. A rigid, unyielding personality is more likely to be affected than a flexible, accommodating one. A willingness to learn and adjust is able to avoid or mitigate the extent of disappointment.

Dealing with disappointment in a systematic way begins with unfiltered reflection. You’ve got to be able to understand the psycho-mechanics of your disappointment before you can deal with it in a productive way. This involves recognizing that however intense, your disappointment has to be faced and dealt with effectively before you can move forward. I
can not recall any disappointing situation from which lessons can not be learnt leading to future success.

Personally, like most people I know, I find disappointment a very difficult emotion to deal with. The more effort placed and the more expectation anticipated, inevitably leads to greater disappointment. However, you must remain resolute that disappointment, however intense, must never be allowed to overwhelm you. Rather it should act as a stimulus to re-examine yourself and institute corrective measures. You must be able to learn, as Martin Luther King did, that;

“We must accept finite disappointment,
but never lose infinite hope.”

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Disappointment is often the salt of life.
…….Theodore Parker

Disappointment is the nurse of wisdom.
…….Bayle Roche

Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy;
-- The bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.
……Eric Hoffer

Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments
…..Henry Ward Beecher

If we will be quiet and ready enough,
we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
…..Henry David Thoreau

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. ….Robert Kiyosaki

Disappointment, when it involves neither shame nor loss, is as good as success;
It supplies as many images to the mind, and as many topics to the tongue.
…….Samuel Johnson

The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar
which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.
….Thomas Hardy

Rigid beliefs make disappointments seem unbearable,
whereas realistic beliefs help us to accept disappointment and go on from there.
……Eileen Kennedy-Moore

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