LIFE WITH GUILT

“No acquisitions of guilt can compensate the loss of that solid inward comfort of mind,
which is the sure companion of innocence and virtue;
Nor can in the least, balance the evil of that horror and anxiety which,
in their room, guilt introduces into our bosoms”.

The above quotation recorded by the great 17th century English novelist, Henry Fielding, in his famous satirical novel Tom Jones, beautifully encapsulates the impact of the feeling of Guilt on an individual’s psyche.

Guilt is generally used in a dual context. It refers, on the one hand, to the fact of having been found responsible for the commission of an offence, or violation of a law, or commission of an error or mistake. On the other hand, it is a remorseful awareness of having committed something wrong or alternatively, the uncomfortable self-reproach of having acted contrary to one’s conscience. In either case it creates an unpleasant feeling within the individual, and may give rise to significant discomfort and harm if left unresolved.

The concept of Guilt has existed for as long as man has existed. It does not occur in any other members of the animal kingdom and is directly related to man’s development of intelligence. Animals function exclusively under the natural laws of instinct and survival and as such do not possess the instinct of regret. Humans on the other hand, equipped with the ability of discretionary thought, spend their lives in pursuit of personal satisfaction which may not be related to instinct or survival.

Eastern societies such as the Chinese, Japanese and Korean, are described as “Shame-based” rather than “Guilt-based”, in that the consequences to the society of getting caught or being exposed is more important than the personal feelings of the individual involved. So too, is Islam, which is considered a very strong shame-oriented society. Most Western societies, based on the Judaic principles of personal responsibility to an Almighty God, are all strongly Guilt-based, and as a result, all the laws are based on this concept. This difference is considered to be a fundamental factor in the profound antagonism and misunderstanding that exists between the two societies.

In psychological terms, the experience of discomfort from guilt is significant only if the reason for the guilt remains unresolved. In fact, the potential that an action may give rise to guilt feelings may in fact be a positive influence, if it serves to produce the correct response. This is the basis of society’s moral codes and standards of behavior, and the development of the concept of “conscience”.

Unresolved guilt feelings, if left alone can give rise to a variety of unpleasant consequences. They could affect our emotional stability, give rise to increase suspicion and regret and a feeling of responsibility for the harm caused to others. Often they result in the development of what has been described as a “poverty complex”, in which the individual becomes unworthy or unable to deal with success and may develop symptoms of anxiety and depression. On occasions, this has led to unexpected and exaggerated behavior.

Psychopaths, who by definition lack any sense of guilt or conscience, are not affected by the consequences of their action. They are driven exclusively by the need for self-gratification without any regard or concern for the effects on others, or for that matter, to themselves. Being devoid of the ability of moral reasoning or developing emotional bonds with others, they have no hesitation to repeat their behavior over and over, irrespective of the social and emotional damage caused.

We are all subject, on a daily basis, to recurrent feelings of guilt as we go along our daily lives. None of us are immune from feeling the fleeting pain of an inadequate response, or a deliberate decision which favors us at the expense of others, or the disappointment on the face of others resulting from our actions. These are all to be expected and anticipated as part of living in a society made up of diverse people and needs, where the action of one impinges on the lives of many. But, for the great majority of us, it is vitally important that we strive to keep within the boundaries dictated by our conscience and our society, and to avoid, as much as we possibly can, the continuation of unresolved guilt feelings. For nothing could give rise to such pain and discomfort over time as the feelings of guilt caused from our deliberate action.

Bishop Robert South, the 17th century author and Protestant theologian described the long term consequences of continued guilt most eloquently, in the following quotation:

“Guilt upon conscience, is like rust upon iron.
Both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it,
as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal”.
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Suspicion always haunts the Guilty mind;
The thief doth fear each bush, an officer.
………William Shakespeare

Guilt is to danger, as fire is to gunpowder;
A man need not fear to walk into barrels of gunpowder,
if he has no fire about him.
……John Flavel

Guilt is anger directed at ourselves - at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others - at what they did or did not do.
…….Peter McWilliams
Guilt is regret for what we have done,
Regret is guilt for what we didn’t do.
……Author Unknown

One who condones evils is just as Guilty,as the one who perpetrates it.
……..Martin Luther King, Jr.

In a free society, some are Guilty;
But all are responsible.
…….Abraham Joshua Hershel

The Guilty one is not he who commits the sin;
But the one who causes the darkness.
…….Victor Hugo

Nothing is more wretched to the mind of a man conscious of Guilt.

…….PLautus

It is better that ten Guilty persons escape;
Than one innocent suffer.
…..Sir William Blackstone

Though the dungeon, the scourge, and the executioner be absent,
The Guilty mind can apply the goad and scorch with blows.
…Lucretius

The difference between guilt and shame is very clear;
We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.
……Lewis B. Smedes