“You represent that Lighthouse to me, because no matter how stormy
the seas of life became you were always that pillar, that beacon of light,
to guide me through the trying times. No matter how rough or dark things
may seem, your strength and your unmistakable guiding light brought me
to a sound conclusion.”
the seas of life became you were always that pillar, that beacon of light,
to guide me through the trying times. No matter how rough or dark things
may seem, your strength and your unmistakable guiding light brought me
to a sound conclusion.”
These words, written by my son Ted on the occasion of my 75th birthday, touched me more than anything else I heard that night. I can think of nothing that so completely describes the role of a successful father.
A lighthouse is a structure placed by the maker to guide and protect its people as they navigate through life’s treacherous and stormy waters. To provide the necessary light and signals by word, by action and by example to guide them into safe harbors. To be successful, it must stand as a monument to motivation, and be consistent and unwavering in its standards. To be effective, it must remain tall and strong, and must be able to withstand the pounding of the waves, the onslaught of the rain and the terror of lightning and thunder, all the while its tireless beacon showing the way without change or interruption.
As I see it, a father’s role is no different and no less sacred. But he must first recognize that his children are sacred responsibilities merely entrusted to him for care and guidance, as Khalil Gibran so beautifully described:
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They came through you, but not from you, and
Though they are with you, yet they belong not to you."
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They came through you, but not from you, and
Though they are with you, yet they belong not to you."
Like the Lighthouse, a father must be committed to provide the guiding light to help them navigate through the troubled and daunting road to maturity. The way each person sees the world depends on the experiences and lessons acquired on their journey through life, and like the lighthouse, their success or failure is directly related to the omnipresent structure and its guiding light over every character and every action. This is the true role of the father.
Nothing is more unsettling than to encounter fathers whose selfish motivation drive them to compete rather than guide their child. Or worse still, the absent father whose callous, wanton abandonment of his responsibility makes him worse than an animal. They all hide behind such statements as “my father never helped me and I did very well”. This is very unfortunate and to my mind unacceptable.
I rather favor the role of a true father as being present to provide guidance and direction without control or domination. while allowing the child to develop to its full potential. Clarence B. Kellard, the author recorded this in eloquent simplicity:
"My Father didn’t tell me how to live;
He lived, and let me watch him do it."
He lived, and let me watch him do it."
There is an indescribable honor and pride in every father who is blessed with children in whom he is able to reap the reward of his efforts. No amount of material wealth or personal possessions can match the feeling of a proud father, or for that matter, replace the desolation and disappointment of disenchanted children.
In this context, like all very successful lighthouses, there has to be constant attention paid to maintaining the highest levels of performance and a willingness to adapt and adjust to the prevailing changes.
A father’s biggest mistake is to continue to take things for granted and not recognize that as circumstances change, so do needs and expectations. To be worthy of the respect of his children, demands eternal vigilance and flexibility.
For myself, I often recall a prayer written by an unknown author to constantly remind me of this noble responsibility. I strongly recommend it to all true fathers:
One night a father overheard his son pray:
“Dear God, make me the kind of man my Dad is”.
Later that night, the father prayed:
“Dear God, make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.”
< >
“Dear God, make me the kind of man my Dad is”.
Later that night, the father prayed:
“Dear God, make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.”
< >
And you Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath;
Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
…..Ephesians 6:4
A Father’s words are like a thermostat;
That sets the temperature in the house.
…..Paul Lewis
Good Fathers make good sons.
….Author Unknown
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong,
as the need for a Father’s protection.
….Sigmund Freud
It is a wise Father, who knows his child.
….William Shakespeare
It is much easier to become a Father, than to be one.
…..Kent Nerburn
When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.
…..The Talmud
I talk, and talk, and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years,
what my father taught by example in one week."
Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
…..Ephesians 6:4
A Father’s words are like a thermostat;
That sets the temperature in the house.
…..Paul Lewis
Good Fathers make good sons.
….Author Unknown
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong,
as the need for a Father’s protection.
….Sigmund Freud
It is a wise Father, who knows his child.
….William Shakespeare
It is much easier to become a Father, than to be one.
…..Kent Nerburn
When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.
…..The Talmud
I talk, and talk, and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years,
what my father taught by example in one week."
…..Mario Cuomo
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment