LIFE AND THE GOLDEN RULE

I recently came across a copy of one of the great American painter and social commentator Norman Rockwell’s “The Golden Rule”. First published in the “Saturday Evening Post” edition of April 1, 1961, it ranks among the very best of the many paintings he produced and is recognized universally for the impact of its message of “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”, given to us by Jesus Christ and recorded in Mathew7:12. In a series of brilliant brush strokes he was able to speak volumes to the single most fundamental rule for living and general principle of ethics for everyone, irrespective of race, religion or social standard, who inhabits this world.

The Golden Rule or more accurately, “The Ethic of Reciprocity” is a proven tenet that has existed and survived for as long as mankind has been in existence, and, in one form or another, has appeared in the folk lore of all the great societies and in the scriptures of every religion. It is the one single truth that knows no boundaries. Regardless of which faith, religion, tradition or community we examine, we find the constancy of the Golden Rule and the basic concept of its interconnectedness among all, irrespective of underlying differences, as a fundamental pillar of belief. It is indeed the single ethic of universal acceptance.

Ambassador Mussie Hailu, the Ethiopian chairman of the Interfaith Peace-building Initiative, speaking at the recently concluded World Summit on Human Rights, defined its role and impact on the world’s communities in following terms:

“The Golden Rule is not just a moral ideal for relationships between people,
but also for relationships among nations, cultures, races, sexes, economies
and religions. Clearly, the Golden Rule has the capacity to be the ethical
cornerstone in developing a Global Ethic as the human family works together
to build a peaceful, just and sustainable global society”.

Unfortunately, the world has yet to learn and to practice the real truth of this statement. One has only to look at the day’s news to quickly confirm that, rather than live within the guidelines and intent of this simple guide, we are driven by selfish, suspicious and avaricious desires to overcome and dominate our environment. This applies equally to us as individuals or as members of a social group, culture, race, religion, national group or any of the endless mixtures or computations that exist. Wherever you go in this world, or search the world’s literature or historical data, the constant recurring themes are reflected less by the requirements of the Golden Rules than by the insatiable drive for control, domination and self- gratification.

Whether it be the ignorant uttering of a politician, or the misguided attitude of individuals or groups against others, or a mother’s comment about her child’s friend or a neighbor, or the poisonous words of a reporter or news commentator, we are continually bombarded with endless efforts to thwart the essence and intent of the Golden Rule. But of all these influences, I believe that over the ages and continuing to this day, the predominant source of failure lies squarely in realm of organized religion.

Although giving lip service to the concept of man’s universality, the majority of religions will teach that they alone have the “truth” and take steps to convince its members that all others are misguided or wrong and that the ethic of reciprocity applies to them only and not to all people. Clearly by doing this they ensure their own survival. The fact that the world continues to be in turmoil can, to a large extent be traced directly to this fact and although we acknowledge allegiance to the concept, we very rarely apply its principles in our living.

This attitude has served to generate a great deal social upheavals over the ages with recurrent religiously-based hatred, distrust, violence, and conflicts. It has also resulted in large scale suffering and oppression, and in my opinion, is the single most constant factor in wars between different religions and even between segments of the same religion. This has led a number of serious historians to conclude that all conflicts have their start and/or continuation to the influence of religion.

To apply the golden rule successfully, we need to truly believe and accept that it applies to all humans and that we are all entitled to the same respect and acceptance. We have to acknowledge the effect our actions have on the lives of others and to consider how we would feel in the other person’s place. Crimes against humanity, whatever the excuse or in whatever form, require that the “victims” first be viewed as inferior or different. We can then justify our actions, however brutal or vicious, in the name of converting them to the “right” way. In the present world as we know it, this has been become so established that we all believe that difference equates to evil, and instead of living with the tenets of the golden rule, we join the rest in alienating and destroying it.

Only when we are able to truly apply the simple truth of the golden rule to all we do, and to believe that it is indeed the only way to ensure total eradication of the present escalating turmoil can we hope to see peace and harmony.

Martin Luther King Jr. spoke for all of us who truly believe in the principles of the golden rule, when he made his famous “I have a dream” speech:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day

live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color

of their skin, but by the content of their character.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,

every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough

places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall

be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia,

the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners

will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood”.



< >

Examples Of The Golden Rule, Ancient and Modern
< >
Socrates (436-338 B.C.)
Do not do unto others what angers you
if done to you by others."

Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

We should behave toward friends
as we would wish friends to behave toward us.

Egyptian Saying(1580-1350 B.C.)
He sought for others the good
He desired for himself.

Christianity
Do unto others as you would want
Others do unto you

Buddhism
Do not hurt others in waysthat you yourself would find hurtful.

Confucianism
One thing that serves as a principleof conduct throughout one's whole life is:Do not unto others what you wouldnot have them do to you.

Judaism
That which is hateful to you,do not do to your fellow man.
-This is the essence of morality.

Islam
Not one of you is a believeruntil he desires for his brother thatwhich he desires for himself.Hinduism
This is the sum of duty:Do nothing to others which wouldcause you pain if done to you.

Sikhism
As thou deem thyself,
so deem others.

Jainism
One should treat all beings,
As he himself would be treatedTaoism
Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain,and your neighbor's loss as you own loss.

Zoroastrianism
(ancient Persian religion)
That nature alone is good, which keeps fromdoing unto another whatever is not good for itself.

Shawnee Indian
Do not wrong or hate your neighbor,
For it is not he that you wrong,
-You wrong yourself.

Yoruba Proverb (African)
One who is going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird,
Should first try it on himself, to feel how it hurts.

LIFE AND YOU (II)

Editor's Note:
The following is the second in a series of random collections on the

meaning of life, based on quotations from the greatest authors

and philosophers over the ages.

The interpretations are strictly those of the editor,

but the message is universal and worthy of serious consideration.

5.
"Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes

you feel most deeply and vitally alive,

along with which comes the inner voice which says,

'this is the real me', and when you have found that

attitude, ……..follow it."

This quotation by William James, the great American Physician, Psychologist and Philosopher, considered by many to be the father of American Psychology, stands out as a beacon pointing to correct human behavior and attitude. It constitutes a powerful basis of individual self-help, and is invariably incorporated in the advice and recommendations of all the inspirational speakers.

In a single sentence, he was able to project the fundamental components that make up any successful action. The steps he recommended were clear and uncompromising and were based on a few simple stages. You must begin by finding something which kindles your interest and desires, then be sure of your willingness to commit yourself and your spirit, and when you have, then follow your mind to fulfillment.

James stressed that, to a very large extent, our individual behavior depends on the strength of the attitude and belief we have within us, and that further, we all possess the capacity to improve our lives if we care enough and act accordingly.

We have all seen instances when people have surmounted enormous obstacles to achieve success and we stand amazed at their ability. But the real truth in all these instances, lies in the depth of commitment, the unwavering attitude and the belief in oneself exhibited by the individual.

These are properties we all possess, but in most instances, because of past experiences and negative attitudes, remain buried deep in our psyche by mountains of inadequacies and insecurities. It remains up to us to initiate the necessary changes needed to “find” our true selves. James summarizes this approach in the following way:

“Be not afraid of life.
Believe that life is worth living,
And your belief will help create the fact.”

6.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life and
don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.
Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become."

Anyone who has even a passing knowledge of Steve Jobs, the brilliant American business magnate, entrepreneur, prolific inventor, co-founder of Apple Computers and Pixar Animation, will readily recognize the above quotation as an accurate self-description. Since the early age of 17 years he has been changing the way we see the world with an endless series of dramatic innovations born from his fertile mind, nurtured by his insatiable imagination and brought to fruition by an indomitable drive and an overwhelming courage. Over the course of his short life, he has successfully conquered any and every obstacle, rejection, objection, criticism and subterfuge hurled at him.

By any yardstick, Steve Jobs lives his life to the absolute fullest. Even when he contracted a serious and potentially fatal illness, he paused long enough to take steps to correct, as best as he could, his situation, and returned with greater enthusiasm to launch yet another and then another world class gadget.

Much has been said and written about this man. This includes an army of detractors who have not spared him with volumes of criticism. He is accused of being a very selfish, secretive man with few friends, who does not hesitate to crush anyone who opposes him. This may well be true but it does not detract from the fact that he remains a man of unique vision and an insatiable drive to succeed.

Despite his longstanding, recurrent and serious medical conditions, which are likely to significantly compromise his life, he will be one of a limited number of human beings whose actions assures them a place in the history books as having contributed meaningfully to the advancement of civilization. Very few of us can ever aspire to this lofty status.

7.
"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."

This profound statement, ascribed to the folklore of the great Cherokee Indian Nation of North America will go down as one of the most important advice ever recorded.

We are all born into this world full of hope and expectations, but too often we waste our lives in trying to conform, to do things to please our selfish desires or the demands of others. We spend our lives in accumulating material possessions or achieving fame and fortune at the expense of others. We give little regard to how our behavior affects the lives of our neighbors, and care less about their needs and aspirations. We are driven headlong with the desire to be successful without considering the damage we do to others by design or by neglect.

These are the trappings of our society’s “rich and famous”, whose embellishments and monuments are destined to disappear into oblivion, buried by the sands of time. …And the world is unconcerned!

And then there are some people who spent their time on earth caring for the needs of others and trying to improve the lives of those who because of illness, circumstances, oppression or neglect, are destitute and generally consigned to society’s rubbish heaps.

Throughout history, every generation has produced its compliment of candidates, all of whom possessed one common factor, their names and their works are indelibly recorded in the history of mankind. The world indeed has recognized these people and continues to do so with the passage of time. The names of people like St. Francis of Assisi, Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Louis Pasteur and Albert Schweitzer, will live into posterity not for the empires they built, or the material wealth they acquired, but for the lives they led.
Margaret Mead, the renowned American cultural anthropologist, spoke for all of us when she recorded:

“Never believe that a few Caring people can't change the world.
Indeed, that's all who ever have”.



< >

LIVING WITH VIOLENCE

“America is, by far, the most violent country in the world when measured

against comparable, industrialized nations. Violence is deeply rooted in our

society and has become woven into the fabric of the American lifestyle.

A culture of violence has emerged that invades our lives at every level,

from our most intimate relationships at home, to our schools and

work environments."

This statement contained in an Annual Report by one of California’s Attorneys General, accurately crystallizes the true status of violence in America. Compared with the other advanced countries, America has the highest rate of prison incarcerations, with more than 2 million prisoners at any time, a number that equates to more than quarter of the world’s prison population. It has consistently reported the highest homicide rates in the industrialized world and even more frightening, more people possess some form of weapon for self-protection than all the rest of the world’s population.

The increasing aura of violence in our society and our awareness of violence around us has changed the way we live in our cities. In more and more areas of our cities, because of the increase in gang formation and drug violence, drive-by shootings, daylight muggings and indiscriminate attacks we are beginning to feel like prisoners in our homes and neighborhoods, afraid to venture out alone. It should be no surprise that some of the fastest growing industries in this country are private security and weapons.

Although we publicly lament the existence of violence in our cities, in our society and in our schools, we also are guilty of sending mixed messages to our children. By encouraging wanton violence on our TV screens and in our cinemas, by highlighting and encouraging violence in sport and entertainment, on the playing field and in the video games, by making and endorsing heroes of crooks and criminals, we succeed in indoctrinating our children that violence in society is acceptable, and worse, by our silence, encourage them to think that violence is a reasonable alternative.

Even our media, by their eagerness and insistence in reporting all the gory details of violent incidents contribute to the glorification of violence as a means of achieving solution. By their endless reporting of incidents, repeated over and over, they succeed in persuading people that such behavior is normal and acceptable, making the next action easier to contemplate. Very rarely is an effort made to register the public abhorrence of the behavior and the genuine resentment of the perpetrators. Society, while recognizing that the perpetrator needs help, must not lose sight of it’s responsibility to punish the action, protect the victims and above all, to take the necessary steps to correct the underlying causes.

Tragically we, as individuals and as a society, have yet to learn the lessons from the actions around us. We continue to witness horrific examples of grossly abnormal behavior among our young people such as the Columbine school massacre, the vicious and brutal attack on the homeless and the gang-like act of publicly setting a boy on fire. Though occurring in different areas and under different circumstances, these and the thousands of others taking place daily, appear to have one constant denominator, the progressive disintegration of society’s standards and responsibilities.

But violence is not a disease that can be passed on from person to person and cannot be treated by simply administering a local remedy. Violence is a reflection of the society and represents the worse aspect of the prevailing attitudes within the society. As I see it, even in the midst of so much advancement in the quality and opportunity in our lives, our society has become too indifferent, too immune to its responsibility towards maintaining the quality and consistency needed to ensure the right standards.

We cannot expect our children to do otherwise when we ourselves abandon our own principles, by continuing to glorify violence, by ignoring the needs of our children, by abandoning our family responsibilities as we spend more time away from the home. When we add to this the scourge of easy accessibility of drugs, reduced controls in the schools, increasing domestic violence and marital breakdowns, and so many other social problems, one should not be surprised of the present epidemic of violence.

And yet the answers to preventing this escalation of violence can be simple and effective if we take the time to recognize the causes and make the effort to correct them. As a society, we need to reconsider how we glorify violence in all it’s forms, most especially in the fields of entertainment, sports and video games. Equally we must take time to provide quality time to our children, to encourage them away from the present exposure to the many negative contacts and to provide positive opportunities for growth. To achieve this we need to change drastically from the present direction, something we loathe to do. We have yet to learn the real truth of the statement made by the noted American author, Mary McCarthy:
“In violence we forget who we are”


< >

LEARNING FROM LIVING

LEARNING FROM LIVING

I would rather think of life as a good book.
The further you get into it,
The more it begins to come together and make sense.

The above quotation by the famous American Conservative Rabbi, Harold S. Kushner, always impressed me as a powerful comment on the real meaning of life and learning, worthy of inclusion in any educational program.
Learning is generally defined as a “process of acquiring knowledge or skill through study, experience or teaching”. But to me, true learning is much more complex than this. It can only be considered meaningful when it is accompanied with changes in the basic understanding and behavioral potential of the individual. It is not merely the acquisition of information but rather the assimilation of such information and its incorporation into the individual’s being.
........In truth, we are what we learn.
Of all the great teachers we encounter along the way, the experience of Living is by far the greatest and most effective of all, a fact recognized by most of the great thinkers and philosophers throughout the ages. The great ancient Roman philosophers Pliny and Tacitus insisted that Experience is the most efficient teacher, and Julius Caesar publicly acknowledged that Experience is the teacher of all things.
The history of the modern world is replete with examples of people who have become very successful in every conceivable aspect of life without completion of the appropriate “formal education”. This should not be surprising since in most instances their success is based on their innate ability to maximize their life experience. The following are some of the thousands of examples of people whose contributions have changed the course of history:
Abraham Lincoln, considered one of the greatest U.S. Presidents, finished 1 year of schooling, then continued by self-teaching to become a lawyer.
Andrew Jackson, successful as a soldier, lawyer, judge and U.S. president, was essentially home-schooled without formal education.
Benjamin Franklin, one of the greatest sons of America, a founding father of the nation, inventor, scientist, author and entrepreneur, was primarily home-schooled.
Christopher Columbus, the great explorer who discovered the Americas was essentially self-taught, learning all the intricacies of sailing from experience.
Frank Lloyd Wright, possibly the most famous architect of the twentieth century, never continued beyond primary school.
Henry Ford, the father of the assembly line for car-making never completed high school.
Winston Churchill, considered one of the greatest British statesmen, historian and artist, failed high school and never attended college. He was credited with saving Britain during WWII.

……The list is as endless as it is international.
Over the last generation, in our lifetime, most of the very successful inventors, entrepreneurs and game changers have been high school and/or college dropouts who chose to abandon the formal programs of learning to go their own way. These include:
Bill Gates and Paul Allen(microsoft), Michael Dell (computers), Larry

Ellison(oracle), Steve Jobs(apple), Larry Page and Sergio Brin(google), Mark

Zuckerberg(facebook),
Because of their efforts, they have succeeded in changing the world in unimaginable ways over a period less twenty five years. In all these cases, these exceptional people chose to forego the conventional road to enrichment, and trusting their instincts, go forward learning as they moved on.
The real truth is that we are all endowed with the ability to learn from experience, if we only allow ourselves the flexibility to do so. Instead we tend to spend our lives locked into certain boundaries of our own doing which we zealously guard under the pretext of “the right way”, afraid or unwilling to venture forward and risk failure. As a result we are left out on the periphery while we admire and sometimes envy them and their achievements.

Perhaps we should all take heed of the observation of the great British scientist, author and futurist, Sir Arthur Charles Clarke who advised:

The only way of finding the limits of the possible,
is by going beyond them into the impossible.

< >

LIFE'S ATTITUDES

LIFE’S ATTITUDES

In the field of human endeavor, Attitude is everything. In any situation many outcomes are possible, but the final result, positive or negative, is much less dependant upon ability than it is on attitude. This is probably the most powerful of the multiple components of human behavior.
Attitude can be defined as a complex psycho-physical state involving the total emotional make-up of the individual, including feelings, beliefs, values and disposition, resulting, if it is not consciously modified, in a predictable response. Simply put, attitude is a function of interpretation rather than reality. Henry David Thoreau, the great 19th century American philosopher, very precisely and accurately described this state of affairs as follows:
“It’s not what you look at, that matters,
……It’s what you see.”
In my practice, by way of demonstration to my patients, I often used this simple sketch to illustrate the impact of attitude on subsequent behavior;
You are standing outside your home and you notice in the distance that a person was approaching you with his hands raised and holding an object. If you thought the object was a knife, you would quickly turn and run away, but if you thought he was bringing you a gift, you will turn and run towards him. His action has not changed, but your attitude would determine your subsequent behavior. If in fact he was bringing you a gift, he would appreciate your coming forward, and be disappointed if you ran away. As you no doubt would expect, his subsequent expectation and therefore his attitude toward you will be affected by your action.
It is not difficult to understand that unless we are very careful in correctly interpreting attitudes of others toward us, we are likely to make the situation worse by our resulting response. So much of our pain and suffering can be avoided, or at least modified, if we take time to understand the impact of attitude on our lives and the need to adapt to the changes as they appear.
Equally, in a global context, success or failure, trust or distrust, joy or anger, belief or disbelief, love or hate, even peace or war, all have their foundation on people’s attitude and their willingness to recognize and adapt to changes. Every day we witness examples of how “attitude” is manipulated by people to achieve their own, personal aims. From the businessman, who uses subtle advertisements to get you to use his products, or the politician, who, by a mixture of fear, lies, threats and promises is able to harness your support and commitment to achieve his agenda, or the religious leader, who by deliberately misrepresenting other’s views is able to persuade members to reject them. These are but a few examples of many that operate in our day-to-day living that form the very foundation of existence.
The unfortunate tragedy of this situation is that despite the fact that we are all aware of the impact of attitude on our life, we seem to have difficulty in recognizing and changing our attitudes. As a result we continue to repeat our mistakes over and over. We appear to be conditioned to hold on to existing attitude even though they are clearly causing us unnecessary inconvenience, rather than make the effort to adapt. This behavior is not significantly different from the addictive model where the individual continues the pathological behavior despite efforts to correct. Like the addict, they would rather risk pain and suffering with their current attitude than make the effort to seek an alternative, more appropriate solution. In the end everyone, both individually and globally, will continue to suffer because of prejudice, fear, uncertainty and manipulation and continue to view everyone else with distrust and suspicion.
But change is possible if we could learn to adopt positive attitudes and to work to neutralize negative attitudes. Over and over we have witnessed, both at the individual as well as the group level, that growth and development take place after positive attitudes have taken hold. We have all seen seemingly entrenched hostilities and distrust replaced by respect and sharing, and life-long enemies become friends. However, this will not occur by just talking about what has to be done, but rather by a slow and deliberate process of desensitization so that people become less resistant to receiving correct information and rejecting negative ones. Under these circumstances people are more likely to be more receptive and less inclined to distrust or fear change, and as a result, more willing to undergo modification in attitude.
Above all, what we need to do is to redouble our efforts both as individuals and globally,
to do everything in our power to encourage positive attitudes and reject negative attitudes, to be more receptive to positive efforts from others and to always examine our behavior to ensure that we bring the right attitude to our life and our interactions. By doing this consistently and deliberately, we might begin to grow positively and perhaps we could take to heart the profound observation of the very talented American ice-skater Scott Hamilton:

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”

< >




Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly, and
Leave the rest to God.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,

It's about learning to dance in the rain.
……… Author Unknown

Excellence is not a skill. It is an Attitude.
……..Ralph Marston

The greatest discovery of my generation is that;
a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.
.......William James

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
…….Winston Churchill

A positive Attitude causes a chain reaction
of positive thoughts, events and outcomes.
It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.
........Wade Boggs

There are no menial jobs, only menial Attitudes.
……William J. Bennett

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
………Hugh Downs

People are not disturbed by things,
but by the attitude they take of them.
……Epictetus

Our Attitude toward life, determines Life’s attitude towards us.
….John N. Mitchell

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you;
As by the Attitude you bring to life.
……Khalil Gibran

Attitude: It is our best friend or our worst enemy.
…… John C. Maxwell

Weakness of Attitude becomes weakness of character.
…..Albert Einstein.

I discovered I always have choices:
Sometimes it may only be a choice of Attitude.
……Author Unknown

If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change, then change your attitude.
……Maya Angelou

The Problem is not usually the problem;
The problem is your Attitude about the problem.
……Author Unknown

Your Attitude is more important that your Aptitude.
…… Zig Zigler

A strong positive mental Attitude will create more miracles,
than any Wonder Drug.
……Patricia Neal

The greatest part of happiness depends on our Attitude;
Not on our Circumstances.
….Martha Washington

ON BEING A MOTHER

Editor's Note:

The following story was forwarded to me by my neice. It has so impressed

me with its relevance and its urgency that I felt compelled to pass it on

to every one about whom I care. The author is unknown, but its content

relates to all of us, and its message is directed to each of us, personally.

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.'
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years, but the demands of my work and my two boys had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. 'What's wrong, aren't you well?' she asked; My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. 'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,' I responded, 'Just the two of us.'She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.
She smiled with a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into my new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary, but catching up on events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie, but neither of us cared.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed willingly and hoped it would be soon.
'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice, I answered, much more so than I could ever have imagined and I have you to thank for this.'


A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.'
At that moment, I understood the importance of always saying; 'I LOVE YOU' and of giving our loved ones the time that they deserve and they need. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve.
These things must never be put off till 'some other time',
.....for that time may never come.

< >

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal

after you've had a baby.
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother,

'normal' is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring.

Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager
with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a 'good' mother,

your child will 'turn out good'.

Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the second child

as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have two children.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.

Somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten,

or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.

'Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after herchild gets married.
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law
to the mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home.

Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her,
so you don't need to tell her.

Somebody isn't a mother.

…..Author Unknown

LIFE AND YOU (I)

Editor's Note:

The following is a random collection on the meaning of life based on

quotations from the greatest authors and philosophers over the ages.

The interpretations are strictly those of the editor, but the message is

universal and worthy of serious consideration.

1.
“If you want to know the past, to know what has caused you;
Look at yourself in the Present, for that is the past's effect.
If you want to know your future, then look at yourself in the Present;
For that is the cause of the future."

The above quotation taken from the Majjhima Nikaya, the Buddhist holy book, speaks volumes to anyone in search of self determination. The message is both simple and profound.

You are the collective unconsciousness of all that has gone before you, and within you lies everything that has occurred in the past that has caused you to be who you are. Like the rings in the great oak tree that tells us everything, good and bad, that has occurred over the centuries of its life, so too are you, a true reflection of your past.

Therefore it is vitally important that you spend time to reflect on all that has gone before you and to learn from this who you really are and where you want to be. For without this knowledge, your future will be nothing but a random series of encounters without reason and without direction and your journey through life will be that of the lowly ant;

You arrive, you live and you die and you leave a void

to be filled by the next ant.

Instead, your life will have true meaning only if you understand whom you really are, what your role is meant to be and above all, you follow the path laid out for you, to reach the glory that you are destined to be.

2.
"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project,

all your thoughts break their bonds:

our mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction,

and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world.

Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive,

and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far

than you ever dreamed yourself to be."

These words, contained in a brief introductory statement in the enormously influential Yoga Sutras, acknowledged as the foundational text of Yoga, crystallize the wisdom of one of India's greatest philosophers Patanjali.

The fundamental aim of Yoga is to assist us to attain a better understanding of ourselves, and to achieve a higher level of awareness and enlightenment. By encountering and transcending all our weaknesses and our inadequacies, we are able to unleash a more confident and comfortable attitude in our lives and exercise better control of our environment.
All of us will have no difficulty in identifying people in our lives whose actions we have admired and respected. We have tended to assign special status to these people and place them in special categories. But the truth is that we all possess the potential to transcend our limitations. We need only to find the key to unlock the energy within us, to control the negative shackles that bind us and to release the power within us.
Yoga, by a system of profound meditation and self evaluation, is designed to release these energies and assist us to arrive at that exalted position of union of the body, the mind and the spirit where our true self emerges.
But the truth is that we do not need to be practitioners of Yoga to achieve our full potential. What we do need however, is a process of systematically identifying, encountering and overcoming each of our negative constraints, neutralizing their impact upon us and thus allowing the free spirit to come alive.
To achieve this, we must begin by adopting a sense of purpose and direction, and to working diligently to achieve this. Whichever you choose however, must be consistent with the basic principles of life and the natural laws of nature of doing no harm to others, recognizing the unity of all living beings and a sense of universal humanity.

This is, and has always been, the underlying principle of all the great religions of the world and one which will carry you to the pinnacle of your potential.




3.
"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

Often quoted by His Holiness Dalai Lama, this statement is a powerful indictment of the hypocrisy and prejudice that exists in the world. We are quick to judge others who appear or think or act different than us. We have all grown up with such deep seated prejudices that we instinctly believe that what we do is always correct and therefore anything that is different is likely to be wrong.

No one really takes the time to teach us that in nature there are invariably many solutions to an existing situation, and that they are all correct. This single omission is directly responsible for all the tragedies, all the suffering, all the antagonisms that exist between and among individuals, groups, communities and nations.
It is a lot easier to blame others for our own shortcomings and distinctly more convenient to maintain power and control by projecting the difference in others as a threat to survival.

Throughout the ages in every society and among all peoples of the world, there has occurred such vast and unwarranted suffering in the name of difference than in anything else. We have used the excuse of race, religion, appearance and social status to perpetrate these atrocities and continue to do so presently.
Yet the fundamental truth is that our lives will become so much more fulfilled if we begin to set aside our fears and prejudices and learn to accept all others for who they really are, rather than who we think they might be.

A life dominated by love and understanding, rather than the present distrust and fear should be the unequivocal goal of all who genuinely seek the true nirvana .


4.

"Too many of us are not living our dreams,
because we are living our fears."

This quotation attributed to the American motivational speaker, Les Brown, has always been one of my favorites. During my many years of medical practice I have had innumerable opportunities to refer to it with my patients to illustrate a fundamental truth.

There is no doubt in my mind that at some time or another we have all fallen victim of failing to achieve our dream because of fear and anxiety. As a result we suffer significant loss and regret. In fact it represents the single most important factor which limits human behavior and compromises the choice of action.
We see it in so many situations; when the child holds back from jumping into the pool, or riding the bicycle or approaching the teacher because of the fear of failure. We also see it when we avoid accepting a challenge or stepping forward to assist because we may falter, or when we fail to comment on a situation to avoid embarrassment or to hurt others. The outcome of all of these inevitably leaves a sense of dissatisfaction and regret.
In the wider picture when we deliberately submerge our deepest desires, hopes and dreams of achieving a goal because of a paralysis of fear or inadequacy, we inevitably suffer pangs of regret and negativity that leave scars and compromise further action, affecting even our psyche.
The answer to this state of mind involves first being honest to yourself and recognize your failing, and then converting this insight into positive action by developing a sense of direction and purpose and acting in faith until confidence is restored.

Without this, we will end up like so many people, drifting hopelessly in the seas of despair subjected to the tides and winds around us and seeking help from anyone and everyone.